


Magician Reversed

by gayfrogs0w0



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Culprit!Yosuke, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Just takes a while lol, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust us the souyo will be here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26078491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayfrogs0w0/pseuds/gayfrogs0w0
Summary: When Yosuke Hanamura moves to Inaba, he wasn't expecting to become involved with a serial murder case that covered his entire school year. After two rapid deaths, it's very apparent that something strange is going on that requires Yosuke to work alongside his new friends to try and solve the cases and free the town from terror.The catch? Yosuke already knows who the killer is.It's himself.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 12
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke Hanamura moves to Inaba against his will, the townspeople hate him, and what's more, a strange voice pulls him into a tv in the middle of Junes. 
> 
> Inside he discovers...himself? 
> 
> Or more like....a shadow of himself.

_Yawn._

Yosuke rubs his eyes, leaning up from the luggage he used as a headrest. _That..was a bad idea in hindsight, but it was the only comfortable thing he could think of-_

"Hey, do you want anything from the store?"

He blinks, looking over at his parents going out of the car. His eyes widen, and he sits up, opening the car door and stumbling out. "N-nono, i-it's fine! I'll- I'll pick the stuff I want out myself! S-sorry-"

His parents give nothing more than a second glance at him, before they go back to talking to a lonely gas attendant that seems to be talking to them about the town. As soon as they turn their backs against him _(again)_ , he drops the smile with a sigh. He stretches his back, the joints popping noisily and a groan leaving him. His stomach rumbles, but just a glance at the windows of the store shows that he probably won’t find much of what he liked. 

“Hey, you look tired!” A strangely peppy voice sounds from behind Yosuke, prompting him to turn around. “May I suggest a canned coffee? That’ll perk you right up!” The silvery haired attendant smiles a little too happily at Yosuke. 

Yosuke makes a suspicious face, looking at the gas attendant weirdly. _Coffee..isn't his style, but.._

"Uh.." Yosuke smiles shakefully, nodding at them. "T..thanks for the suggestion, I'll..I'll think about it."

The attendant laughs, extending their hand towards Yosuke. “Sure, whatever you say. But hey, if you ever need something to do out here, ya know, since it’s so _boring_ , we’re always hiring here.” The attendant tilts their head, still giving that rather sincere smile. 

Yosuke takes a quick glance at their face, before smiling softly at them, also extending his own hand and grasping the others hand in a handshake. "I..already have a job at the new Junes that's going to open soon, but I'll..I'll think about it. Thank you."

The attendant chuckles as Yosuke lets go of the handshake, a dull pain suddenly throbbing across his temples. “Ngh… M-maybe I will take you up on that coffee...” Yosuke rubs his forehead, blaming the pain on the long trip. The attendant smiles again and goes back to their job, finishing filling up the Hanamura’s car. 

Yosuke shakes his head slightly in an attempt to get rid of the headache, going over to the small store and heading down the small snack items.

_Mom likes these type of chips, Dad likes this brand of chocolate, diet soda for Mom, an energy drink for Dad.._

Yosuke looks over at the canned coffee, taking a second, before grabbing the sweetest sounding coffee flavor, and heads over to the counter to pay.

_Might as well, right?_

When Yosuke returns to the car, all he sees is two stern frowns. His heart falls into his gut, the disappointed glares of his parents making him feel small and afraid. Their words echo around in his brain, even as he tries to defend himself. 

_What took you so long?_ ~~_I was trying to find the stuff that_ **_you_ ** ~~_~~guys like~~ \- _

_We’ve been waiting forever for you._ ~~_I-I'm sorry I took so long-_ ~~

_Get your ass back in the car, we’re leaving._ ~~_...sorry…_~~

On the way to the new house, he was silent, just listening to his parents talk like nothing’s wrong and snack away on the food he got them. _...at least they like the food-_

At least school should be better, right? 

* * *

_This is bad._

Yosuke feels tears welling up in his eyes as he stares at the big fat F staring back at him. He knows math is his worst subject, but still….His parents are going to be so pissed. 

~~_They are gonna be so pissed fuck he can't breath he can't_ **_breaTHE-_ **~~

Yosuke looks around to see if anyone's looking, before he dashes out of the classroom, going into the biggest stall in the male's restroom, before sliding down the wall, a harsh sob escaping his lips. He clutches the paper in his hands tightly, bringing his knees up to his chest to try and muffle the sobs.

_What type of son fails this easily at a test? You are just a good-for-nothing child that can't even take a simple test!!_

Yosuke hands reach under his uniform sleeves, his nails roughly scratching at his skin.

_Everything's too much right now, he can't think, fuck why is he like this he doesn't want to be like_ **_this!-_ **

Tears stream down his face, choking sobs leaving his chest. Yosuke can’t breathe, he _can’t_ do anything other than rip himself apart at the seams. The heavy smell of blood is what brings Yosuke back to the bathroom stall, feeling warmth slowly spread over his fingers. 

Yosuke slowly blinks, looking at his rolled up sleeves _(when..did they get rolled up..?_ ), and he can feel his breath stop.

His arms are now covered in self made scratches, some old wounds that were just beginning to heal all undone along with some other new scratches.

_Shit shit shit_ **_fuck fuck fuck-_ **

Yosuke quickly gets up, leaving the now bloodied test paper on the floor as he turns on the sink, washing his arms under the now warm water.

Yosuke stays like that for a while, his mind racing as he watches the blood wash away from his arms and down the drain.

_"..god I really_ **_am_ ** _just a disappointment, huh..?"_ Yosuke mutters to himself, a sad smile crawling on his face. He laughs breathily, tears still pooling in his eyes as he carefully bandages the wounds. He’s used to this, so why does it still hurt….why does _everything_ still hurt? 

Yosuke's head picks up when he hears the bell ring. For a slight moment, he feels relief for school finally being over, carefully taking the bloodied test paper and stuffing it in his bag, before it hits him.

_He still has a shift today._

* * *

“Hanamura! How do you feel about Junes taking over all of the shops in town and running families out of business?”

Yosuke tries to ignore the mic thrust into his face and the cameras pointed at him. _Why today, of all days?_ “Uh-uhm. I didn’t really have a choice…. I moved here against my will...s-so I didn’t-”

“So you’re saying you don’t care?”

“Of course I care! I didn’t want to move here and...and ruin everything!” Yosuke clenches his fingers around the box he’s holding. The strain on his arms doesn’t help with his wounds, and he desperately needs to take these cabbages to the produce section. _But these cameras…_ “P-please, I need to leave-”

“I think the town needs you to leave, don’t you? You’ve been nothing but trouble here, so I think I speak for everyone when I say get out.”

Yosuke feels a lump form in his throat, tears burning his eyes again. “I-I need to go put these up, please. I c-can answer more when I get off, but-”

“Are you brushing us off? Don’t you know that you’re killing families? Does that not make you hurt?” Yosuke stiffens, his arms burning, hands itching to chase away the pain. “Or are you just some heartless kid who only cares about himself? Everyone hates you!”

_“I know everyone hates me!”_ Yosuke shouts, slamming the box of cabbages down and causing them to explode all over them. Tears stream down his face, a sob leaving his throat. “I didn’t want to be here, so just, leave me the fuck alone!”

The reporters watch as Yosuke sinks to his knees in the mess of cabbages, deciding to leave the boy...for now at least. _What a rotten kid._ Yosuke can’t help but cry, especially after catching that last tidbit. 

He tries his best to clean up the mess, keeping his head down so that the people who walk by don't see the fresh tears rolling down his face.

~~Or..they _did_ , but just didn't say anything, who knows anymore.~~

Once he is done cleaning everything and throwing everything away, he goes to the break room and to his locker. Taking a deep breath, he goes to the biggest stall that's available for the second time today, though in a different place. 

As he changes, he can't help but look at his arms again, wincing as he looks at them. They look so.. _so_ much worse..was carrying the box _that_ straining on his arms..?

Yosuke just lets out a small whimper, taking the extra long sleeve and slipping it back on. His parents..his parents are going to be _pissed_ , if the bad grade wasn't enough (though, he's _never_ going to show them that test), then him basically wasting good products will due just that and..

Yosuke pulls at his hair slightly, shaking his head. _Nononono.._

"It's only 4 more hours Hanamura..j-just don't fuck up the rest of day, a-and maybe your punishment won't be as bad.." Yosuke sighs, opening the stall door again.

"..maybe.."

* * *

_His punishment was bad._

Yosuke leans against his broom, feeling dead on his feet as he struggles to make all of Junes spotless. His parents had locked him inside the building, refusing to let him leave until the morning. He wanders into the electronic section, getting a glance at himself on the screen. _Eyebags, red arms, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth..._ In other words, perfectly ready to take a nap on this floor. 

**“Why does everyone hate me?”**

Yosuke blinks softly, lifting his head up ever so slightly as he looks forward at the large tv next to where he is standing. _D..did he hear something from..the tv..?_

**“That’s what you’re thinking, right?”** The voice is sad, not even faking it, just...sympathy. **“How could everyone hate me, I’m not even trying to, in fact…I’m trying so hard to make everyone** **_like_ ** **me…But it’s too tiring.”**

Yosuke leans away from the broom, holding it tightly as an almost weapon of sorts as he goes over to the tv. 

...why is he going near a tv?? There's someone else here in the store with him!!

..or is it just his mind fucking with him..? The voice.. _does_ sound like his..oh God is he finally gone fucking crazy like his parents always say he is?!-

Yosuke peers into the screen, watching his reflection do the same. “H-ha, I’m not crazy, I’m just…tired..” He moves his arms up and down a bit, the reflection Yosuke copying him. “Wh-why am I so scared anyway, ha?” _Wait if his eyes are closed in the reflection then how-_

The reflection’s eyes snap open, shining with a golden light. Yosuke's own eyes widen, stumbling back and tripping, hitting his head against the metal shelf. He lets out a harsh yelp, rubbing the back of his head. _Fuck that hurts-_

Yosuke turns his head to the tv screen, the yellow eyed creature staring back in concern. His mouth moved, but Yosuke couldn’t make out what he was saying due to the ringing in his ears. He got up, crawling over to the tv. The creature placed one of his hands on the screen, as if asking Yosuke to mimic him. 

Yosuke takes a bit, before he slowly lifts his hand up, placing his hand on the tv slowly. The tv screen seems to ripple, and before Yosuke can let out a confused noise, something seems to grab him, dragging him in. The yellow eyed creature laughs, a deep sound remarkably like Yosuke’s own voice. It’s the last thing he hears before static fills his head and eyes. 

* * *

Yosuke whimpers softly as he opens his eyes, holding his head as he sits up. _Where is..where is he?_

He looks around, seeing nothing but fog. Groaning, he slowly gets off the ground, trying to find his way through the fog. 

"H..hey, is..is anyone here?"

**“No one but yourself.”**

The deep voice calls from above Yosuke, prompting him to look around wildly. Through the fog, sitting atop a stack of tvs, is a rather…familiar looking figure. 

Yosuke stares up at the almost exact copy of himself, his hands shooting to his arms and gripping on them despite the wounds like his life depends on it. "W..what do you- w..why do you look like me? W-who are you??"

**"Like I said, no one else but yourself is here."** The copycat keeps staring at Yosuke with a soft smile on his face. **"I'm you."** He leaps off the stack, landing on the floor rather gracefully, and now Yosuke can clearly see the blazing yellow eyes, the same ones in his reflection. **“I’m everything you are, especially the parts of you you push deep deep down. How much you crave people to notice you, how you hate living here, how you just want to be seen, to be noticed, to be liked. Those parts of you.”**

Yosuke tries to speak, but anytime he tries to say something back he just falls silent, looking at the ground. "..so..you really.. _are_ me..?" He ends up muttering softly after a bit, looking back at his other self with a tilt of his head. The creature smiles and places his hands on Yosuke’s shoulder, though when the boy winces, the smile fades.  
  


**“Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”**

Yosuke tries to pull away, before giving up, looking at the floor again. _If this person is.._ **_him_ ** _.._

"It's..it's just the scratches from earlier. It..should be fine though-"

The creature touched his own arms and winced. **“They’re still open. I can heal them you know, but you need to fully accept me. You need to look at your deepest, darkest secrets, all the parts of you that you hide away from everyone else.”**

Yosuke's grip on his own arms tightens on instinct. "..s..so..i just..i just say I accept you..o..or.." Yosuke bites his lips. "I-I know how I feel..I..I know that I hide how I feel away from everyone so that..so that they can like me.." Yosuke stares up at the creature, a small look of confusion on his face. "Y..y..you're me.."

It’s with a smile that the creature’s eyes light up with a bright flash. Yosuke covers his own eyes, trying to hide from the blinding light. Once it all dies down, he glances around... _wait glances around?_ The world around him is still covered in fog but he can see through it, turning his sight back to the creature, who gasps. 

The creature is still Yosuke, but taller, with a long red scarf and those same yellow eyes. He grabs his head, shaking it a bit. **“Ghh, I...I remember now….my name, my name is Jiraiya, and I’m your Shadow. This world is my home….”** Suddenly, Jiraiya’s eyes go wide, his voice trembling. **“M-my world...I remember everything now, the fog suddenly set in and I forgot everything until I saw you in the screen...And then I knew that I needed your help!”**

"My..help?" Yosuke hums slightly, tilting his head again. "W-what..what would you need _my_ help for..?"

**“Well for starters, you’ve already accepted me. Next….When you did, all of the fog cleared from my head. I think….I think if we work together we can really clear the fog from this world...and from my friends.”** There’s pain in Jiraiya’s voice, a kind of desperation. Maybe even tears in his eyes, but he blinks them away. **“Point is, we need your help.”**

Yosuke stays silent for a moment, just simply staring at his "Shadow" as he apparently is, before sighing weakly.

"...would I _finally_ be useful if I help you..?" 

Jiraiya frowns, then nods. **“...Does helping yourself out and clearing a world of crazy fog sound useful to you?”**

Yosuke forces out a tiny laugh, rubbing the back of his neck weakly. "Y..yea, it..kinda does.." Yosuke stays silent for a second, before looking up at Jiraiya. "W..what can I do to..to help you..?" 

The Shadow tackles Yosuke in a hug, letting out a cheer. **“That’s the me I know. Ok, since you’ve agreed to help me, I’ll explain. I have power now thanks to you, and in turn, that gives you power. We need more people like us, with their strength of heart, to fight the maker of the fog.”** Jiraiya’s eyes glow with ferocity. **“You’ve already met her.”**

“H-huh?” 

**“I mean….”** Jiraiya leans forward, tapping Yosuke’s forehead. **“How else could you have gotten in here through the screen? Before you could touch tv screens, right?”**

Yosuke makes a face of fake annoyance, before making a thinking face. "..Yea, before I could touch tv screens..even yesterday I could touch them just fine.." Yosuke pauses. "...who is this "her" you're talking about..?"

Jiraiya’s face darkens. **“The mistress of this world, the ruler of Shadows and the fog; Izanami.”**

"Iza..nami..?" Yosuke mutters softly. "Isn't she..isn't she a..a _god?"_ He whimpers. "H-how can you expect me to help w-with her?"

**“That’s what I meant when I said give others power. We can’t do this on our own, we need help.”** Jiraiya pulls a knife from his sleeve, twirling it on his finger. **“There are others like me here, but they’re shrouded in fog. We need to free them.”**

Yosuke at first reacts to the knife, flinching back at first, before relaxing slowly. "..s..so.." Yosuke starts. "All I need to do is..is help you free your friends..right?" Yosuke goes to grab his own arm, but he winces in pain. Jiraiya blinks, tilting his head. 

**“Right, your injuries.”** The Shadow sits down, prompting Yosuke to do the same. **“I’m not as good of a healer as Sakuya, but I know a few tricks. Roll up your sleeves.”**

Yosuke sits down slowly, taking a second before rolling up his sleeves, tilting his head. "They aren't.. _that_ bad.." He mutters, completely ignoring how red the bandages he put on the wounds now are. Jiraiya shakes his head, unwrapping the wounds. He visibly winces, then places his hand on them. 

**“Diarama.”** A green light shimmers around Jiraiya’s hand, spreading over Yosuke. Yosuke hands clenches softly, closing his eyes as a pained look covers his face as his wounds close up. Jiraiya waits until the pain in his own body fades before removing his hand. **“There, isn’t that much better?”**

Yosuke blinks his eyes open, looking down at his arms..before letting out a soft yelp. "W-wha-" Yosuke keeps turning his arms, biting his lips. "H-how the hell- w-where did the wounds go- w..why is there no p-pain??-"

Jiraiya laughs. **“It’s magic, that’s why.”**

"What- w-what do you mean magic? That..w-what?"

**“Magic. What else could it be? You really thought you were weak, huh.”** The Shadow’s eyes glow with some sort of affection. **“You’ve got power, magic, strength, all of it deep within you.”** He smiles, then it falters. **“Hey, have you been sleeping enough?”**

Yosuke crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his finger against his arms. "I've..been sleeping the usual amount." Yosuke hums. "Two through four hours of sleep, but lately I'll even be lucky to get one.."

Yosuke ends up shaking his head, waving his hand dismissively. "Parents always said the more I sleep, the less money they make so..this is normal."

The noise Jiraiya makes is no different from an animal’s growl. _It almost looks like his teeth are sharp!_ **“I’m not letting you back out until you sleep.”**

Yosuke winces back at the teeth, before sitting up more straight. "I..I can't do that. I..I wish I can, but I- I have school tomorrow, I can't stay here t-too late-"

**“Not a problem.”** Jiraiya pulls Yosuke close, eyes flaring brightly as he snaps his fingers. A soft green bubble envelopes them, though nothing feels any different. **“There, sleep time.”**

Yosuke flinches instinctively at the feeling of being pulled close to his other self, before looking up at Jiraiya. "W..what exactly did you-" he starts to say, before looking down and yelping, clinging onto Jiraiya.

_T..they are floating- how the_ **_hell_ ** _are they floating?!-_

**“Relax, Yosuke. This is just a little bubble of time, where the time outside moves much slower than in here.”** Jiraiya smiles, letting go of Yosuke. **“Here you can rest as long as you need.”**

Yosuke bites his lips weakly, looking at Jiraiya almost cautiously, before he feels a sudden wave of tiredness affect him. _Fuck he really is this tired huh-_

Taking a moment, Yosuke finds himself floating still, but laying down on his side, a small whimper escaping his lips. _A..a small nap won't hurt..right?_

_His eyes close, Jiraiya’s yellow ones watching him the entire time._

* * *

Despite what he had originally planned, Yosuke kept returning to that odd tv world time and time again, and each time Jiraiya was just as hospitable as always. He still wasn’t sure _how_ he was supposed to gather strength, but the Shadow kept telling him **“Soon.”**

Apparently soon meant the day that new transfer student showed up. 

The first day he saw the transfer student, he felt.. _weird._ He got a sudden headache, causing him to hold his head in pain, and suddenly-

_CRASH_

Yosuke flies off his bike, crash landing into the ground and rolling a few feet before he stopped. He groans in pain, trying to think through it so he can assess the damage he received. When he opens his eyes, a hand is reaching for him. 

Yosuke flinches back on instinct, expecting a punch or a slap from the other student-

But when he looks up, he just sees the new transfer student, a worried expression on his face. 

_...why does he want to help him..?_

To not be rude, Yosuke shakefully grabs his hand, getting pulled up with the help of the other student. Yosuke takes a second to look at the transfer student completely.

Grey hair, bowling haircut(people really still have that haircut? Really?), and sharp grey eyes stare at him, worry filling them.

“Are you ok?”

Yosuke blinks out of his daze like state, looking at him and just giving him a small customer service smile. “I’m fine, thank you.” He dusts himself off, trying to neaten up his hair a bit too. “Pretty funny, right?”

The transfer frowns and shakes his head, but before he can continue he checks the time. “Ah, sorry, I have to stop by the faculty office first, I gotta hurry so I’m not late. See ya.” He dashes off, leaving Yosuke to wonder what the hell just happened. 

Yosuke slowly picks up his stuff from off the ground, grabbing his bike and choosing to walk to school instead. Yosuke mutters softly, before he realizes. _His headache is suddenly gone._

Yosuke simply shrugs it off, locking his bike up and walking inside and changing his shoes, dumping out the small notes that are in his school shoes (it's the same stuff every time "You should just kill yourself already", "no one will miss the Prince of Junes if he's gone!", it's so repetitive at this point) before he walks to his classroom.

The day is just like always, though Yosuke notices that he feels more tired than normal. _I’ll pay Jiraiya a visit, I need rest._ With that thought in mind the boy bounces his leg in anticipation. _Maybe Jiraiya will show me more of his magic today too._

Yosuke lifts his head up from the table as the school bell rings, and he gets a small smile on his face. He mutters a soft _finally_ , before packing his bag and ignoring the soft whispers around the classroom.

~~" _Why is he smiling like that?"_~~

~~_"Did he not see the notes?"_ ~~

~~_"Ugh bastard probably didn't see them. We'll put more in his locker tomorrow."_ ~~

Yosuke rolls his eyes softly, ignoring the small pain that stings through his arms, and as he's about to head out the door, his wrist is grabbed. _It’s the transfer student!_ Yosuke’s head pounds briefly again, just like before. 

“Hey, I meant to talk to you sooner. Are you sure you’re ok?”

Yosuke blinks, not only trying to get the headache to go away, but also trying to understand _what he just said-_

Why is the transfer student..worried about him? This honestly doesn't make sense to him, what's going on, _ow his fucking head-_

"U-uh.." Yosuke takes a second, before nodding softly. “S-sorry, I have to work today, I-I'll talk to you later-” Yosuke ignores the student’s protests and runs out of the school. 

Yosuke quickly grabs his bike, pedaling as fast as he can to Junes (the headache went away fast again), parking his bike and walking into the store. He takes a quick look around the electronic aisle to make sure no customers can see him, before he goes into the tv.

The Shadow is pacing around like a tiger in a cage, his feet not even hitting the floor and just hovering on gusts of air. He growls irritably, though when Yosuke shows up he slows. **“Oh, hi Yosuke.”**

Yosuke stares at Jiraiya for a bit, before tilting his head softly. "Are..you ok? You seem..really irritated..I..haven't really seen you like this before.."

**“Sorry, I’ve been really irritated. There’s someone new in my world, I’ve been watching him snoop around, and what’s more, the fog is thicker.”** Jiraiya summons a small tornado and sits on top of it. His eyes are a brighter yellow today, and his teeth sharp. **“So I’m a little stressed. But, I know how we can solve one problem.”**

Yosuke almost seems to perk up at the sound of helping solve something, and he nods softly. "How..how can we solve the problem?"

The grin Jiraiya gave is almost predatory, showing off his fangs. _He’s got some crazy idea, I can feel it._ **“We’ll need your help mostly, Yosuke.”** The Shadow snaps his fingers, the tvs behind him all turning onto channels showing a local reporter. _Miss Yamano._

  
**“You’re going to push Mayumi Yamano into the TV.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like we've been brainstorming this idea for probably months  
> Hell we literally met because of Culprit Yosuke so  
> Enjoy our slice of the angst pie!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke has one job:
> 
> Make everyone accept their Shadows, starting with the reporter, Mayumi Yamano. If he can do that, then the town will be saved from the unruly fog that plagues the people. 
> 
> And it should be simple, right? All he has to do is make them tell the truth...

It’s with every new day, or at least, what passes for a day in the TV World, that Jiraiya visits Lilith. He had trapped the Shadow within the liquor store in the shopping district ever since she had started becoming aggressive, but still visits her.  
  


_He has to know if she’s gotten better._

Most of the time, Lilith is simply angry, lashing out with her words at Jiraiya until the Shadow leaves her be for the day. But he always comes back. _He has to._ He returns today, looking up at her makeshift prison before squeezing between the cracks in the wood that were too small to let her out. The yellow, glowing eyes, the pale blonde hair...It makes Jiraiya happy to see her yet…

**“Hi Lilith. How are you toda-”**

At once there’s a pair of hands around his throat, fingers digging into his skin. He lets out a harsh cough, staring at the other shadow with fear. Jiraiya’s hands quickly grasps at Lilith's arms, trying to get them off his neck as quickly as he can. **"H-hey, what a-are you-"** Lilith only snarls, the snake around her arm coiling around Jiraiya’s neck as well. His vision starts to go, panic lashing across every nerve. 

**“Why don’t you just die already?”**

Jiraiya’s brain whites out at those words, wind whipping around them before he unleashes a powerful Garudyne right into Lilith. He sucks in a deep breath as he’s dropped to the floor, coughing several times as he struggles to breathe. There’s a snarl in the corner, Lilith’s glowing yellow eyes rabid as she charges for him again. _No!_ Jiraiya leaps backwards, squeezing back out the crack in the liquor store and falling to the ground. He gently places his hands on his neck, taking a moment to take in what happened.

Before he lets out a harsh sob, sinking to his knees and wrapping his arms around him. He keeps muttering Lilith’s name, tears unending as they stream down his face. _The fog...the fog is too thick in her mind I…_

_I can’t afford to waste any more time. Saki and Lilith…they need to be saved now._

Jiraiya sits up shakefully, a harsh whimper escaping his throat as he tries to get up, only to fall back down. **"F-fuck-"**

**_"Are you ok?"_ **

* * *

Yosuke tries his best to keep the consumer service smile that he has as he sets down the food and drinks.

"Why are we at Junes again? I thought you were going to get us steak to eat!" Satonaka sighs, leaning on her head on her hand. Yosuke feels a small flash of annoyance at the fact that she tagged along, but he pushes it down easily. 

"I wouldn't have enough money if I were to get us all steaks..it's cheaper to come here than to pay for three people over there." Yosuke hands both the transfer student, whom he had found out was named Narukami, and Satonaka drinks before sitting down with his own. He barely pays attention to the conversation, something about the Midnight Channel, the weird body that was found hanging yesterday…

Yosuke’s attention is brought back to the table when he catches a glimpse of Saki on his right. He stands up abruptly, making eye contact and waving. “Saki!-”

_No sooner than he had said that, black spots appear on the edges of his vision, his throat tightening until he can’t breathe, like someone’s choking him._

Yosuke holds his hand to his head, standing in place for a minute as he tries to catch his breath. _W..what is.._

As soon as it starts, it’s over and Yosuke can breathe again, though the people around him wear concerned faces. Before they can ask if he’s ok, he puts on his award winning smile and laughs. “I-I’m ok, I just stood up too fast, I’m ok now.”

_I’m ok now.._

* * *

Jiraiya pauses his attempt to get up, slowly looking up before he sees..a shadow. 

Silver hair, bowl cut hair cut, and bright yellow eyes that show a surprising amount of care. Even so, he can’t help but react and throw himself backwards to try and run from the Shadow. Except his foot catches a rock, sending him crashing into the ground. He tries to get up again...

_Why should I?_

His arms give out, his face slamming into the pavement as he cries again. He can feel cut wounds already forming on his arms, and he can feel something drip out of his nose, an almost iron smelling liquid that pools around his hands. _Blood._

_Not that it mattered when the Shadow behind him is about to rip him to shreds._

**“That was a bad fall. Are you hurt?”**

Jiraiya lifts his head up a bit, blinking in confusion. The voice sounds blank, but he can hear a tiny bit of concern deep within. The Shadow is holding out his hand for Jiraiya, trying to help him up. The frog looks from the hand to the Shadow, then very cautiously takes it. 

**“You aren’t...going to hurt me?”**

The Shadow chuckles as he pulls Jiraiya up, inspecting his injuries. **“You seem hurt enough. What’s your name?”**

Jiraiya looks at the other shadow, as to almost inspect him now that he's closer. His yellow eyes are filled with concern and worry, and he still won't let go of his wrist.

**"...Jiraiya. My..My name is Jiraiya."** He says after a while, looking at the shadows clothing with a confused look..

_Yasogami jacket..who is this dude? He's never seen him before, even after all this fog-_

**"What is your name then?"**

The Shadow lets go of Jiraiya’s wrist, messing with his silvery hair. **“Izanagi. Pleased to meet you.”** His smile seems rather sincere, soft and gentle despite his deeper voice. 

Jiraiya hums slightly, looking away from Izanagi. **"..where did you even come from?"** He asks after a while, looking back at the silver hair shadow while straightening his back. **"I haven't seen you around here before..yet you have a Yasogami jacket.."**

Izanagi looks at his jacket and shrugs. **“My clothes turned into this when I got here…”** He frowns, shifting his body uncomfortably. **“Don’t worry about it. I just came from...a different world.”**

Jiraiya raises his eyebrow. **"Different world?"** Izanagi makes a growling noise, baring his fangs to Jiraiya. _Th-they’re even longer than mine!_ The Shadow shrinks back, trying to look smaller on instinct. 

**“I said, don’t worry about it.”**

Jiraiya doesn't move or say anything. He stays completely still, grasping at his arms slightly as he stares up at the taller shadow out of pure fear. After a moment, Izanagi’s snarl fades as he adjusts his uniform. **“Besides, I promise you, you don’t want to go there.”**

Jiraiya takes a second still, before nodding slowly. **"I..I- ..ok."** Jiraiya mutters, before coughing into his hand. **"L-look, I need to go now, m-maybe we can talk more another time-"**

**“Wait, please.”** Izanagi grabs Jiraiya’s hand and pulls him back. **“You’re injured. I’ve...got some healing things, let me help you.”**

Jiraiya winces slightly as he suddenly remembers the strong smell of iron filling his sense of smell. **"...fine."** He sighs out. **"Fine, I'll- I'll let you help me, ok?"** Izanagi smiles again as he sits down, pulling Jiraiya into his lap. He doesn’t seem bothered by the closeness, though the Shadow can feel a blush creeping up into his cheeks. 

Izanagi takes out little medkits, carefully stopping Jiraiya’s bleeding nose before bandaging the scratches on his arms. **“Where’d you get those bruises on your neck from?”**

**"..they're old."** Jiraiya says after a bit. **"Nothing bad, just..my other self scratched himself too hard one day, and it just translated to bruises on me."** Jiraiya smiles softly. **"It's getting better, though."**

Izanagi clearly doesn’t believe Jiraiya, but instead changes the subject. **“Your other self, what’s he like? He’s not evil right?”**

**"Evil?"** Jiraiya blinks, tilting his head. **"He's the furthest thing** **_from_ ** **evil if you ask me. Kind, cares about other people** **_way_ ** **too much.."** Jiraiya almost gets this brotherly smile on his face while talking about Yosuke. **"He's honestly probably one of the kindest people in the town.."**

**“So your counterparts aren’t usually evil…?”** Izanagi looks down a moment, then shakes his head. Jiraiya blinks.

**"..wouldn't** **_your_ ** **counterpart be evil too if we go with that logic?"**

**“I-I guess so. But he isn’t, I promise. We...were some of the only ones who** **_weren’t._ ** **”** Izanagi stands and stretches, his white button up exposing a bit of his belly. ~~_Jiraiya’s eyes totally didn't fall to look at his stomach. Nope not at all._~~ **“Well, seeing as how we live in the same world now, I think I’ll be seeing you soon.”** He gives a wave to Jiraiya before walking off. 

Jiraiya stays sitting down for a moment, putting his hand on the small bandage that Izanagi put on his cheek.

_...what was that?_

* * *

Jiraiya shifts beneath Yosuke as he watches the reporter wake up. He’s nervous, I mean who wouldn’t be, with a woman they kidnapped and threw into a TV? He can congratulate Yosuke on his handiwork in the kidnapping itself later, for now, they’ll need to focus on the Shadow and her counterpart. 

**“Yosuke, she’s awake. Summon her Shadow, like I showed you.”**

Yosuke hums on top of Jiraiya, rolling up both of his sleeves and putting his nails on the skin of his arms. "..what did you say her shadow was again..?"

Jiraiya flexes his claws. _This is the only way, we have to clear the fog….or die trying._ **“Mother Harlot.”**

Yosuke nods slightly, swinging his leg very slightly as he presses harder against his skin, scratching himself until he can sense blood dripping down his arms. They both watch as a shadow starts to appear in front of the older lady. 

“Who the hell-” 

Jiraiya makes a hissing noise, causing Yamano to quiet down. As the Shadow starts to form, Jiraiya nudges Yosuke, prompting him to explain. Yosuke blinks softly, before taking a deep breath.

"It's your shadow." Yosuke says in an almost deathly calm voice, though a hint of shakiness is in it. "You need to face yourself, face the deepest parts of yourself, the parts of yourself that you hide from other people. If you don't, your own shadow will go berserk." Jiraiya feels himself swell a bit with pride at the calm in Yosuke’s voice. 

Despite the clear instructions, Yamano still argues. Denies. Lies. Rejects. Even as Mother Harlot screams and threatens, yellow eyes demanding acceptance, Yamano still lies, lies, _lies._ And Yosuke is sick of it. The tight grip on his arms somehow tightens more, and he clenches his teeth.

"C-can you just accept yourself already?!" 

Jiraiya almost flinches at the tone, surprised by the ferocity in Yosuke’s voice. He himself can feel the frustration, the desire to be accepted that Mother Harlot feels. He growls, taking a step closer. 

**“You better accept yourself. You are Mother Harlot, and she is you.”**

“ _Never!”_

Yosuke let's out an almost harsh like scream, scratching at his arms more. _"J-just fucking accept yourself already god damn it!!"_

Jiraiya sucks in a breath as he watches Mother Harlot transform. _This is the last chance._ **“Accept yourself, now, or you will die.”**

_“I...I could never, that filthy monster is not me!”_

Yosuke closes his eyes tightly, a sob escaping his mouth as he scratches his arm deeper. _"P-please, accept it! A-accept yourself already!!"_

Jiraiya has to close his eyes as Mother Harlot rips Yamano to shreds, wishing he could cover his ears too. He doesn’t look again until the screams have ended, slowly peeking. _Nothing was left, even Mother Harlot was gone._ **“Y-yosuke…that was…”**

Yosuke blinks softly, finally turning to look at Jiraiya with an almost mortified look. 

_...he saw everything that happened._

"..t..that was..was what..?" 

Jiraiya is silent for a moment. **“Death. She was killed by her own Shadow, so of course nothing remains in this world.”** The Shadow sighs, shuffling until he can lay down and sprawl out a bit with Yosuke still on his back. **“It was…different than what I expected.”**

Yosuke softly grips onto Jiraiya, a soft, shaky hum escaping his lips as he sits on Jiraiya. "..what did you expect to happen..?" Yosuke asks softly. "I..I thought it was going to be..more graphic, I guess..?" 

**“I wasn’t too sure myself. But we can be sure...she’s dead.”** Jiraiya leans his head against Yosuke’s shoulder. **“I have to admit, this Magatsu form is interesting.”**

Yosuke doesn't talk for a while, swinging his legs a bit before he smiles. "Well.." Yosuke starts. "It looks cool on you..it fits you really well, if I say so myself.." Jiraiya shuffles a bit, making a noise in happiness. 

**“Really?”**

Yosuke smiles, putting his hand on Jiraiya’s head and nodding. "Of course you do.." Yosuke hums, closing his eyes tightly, clearly trying to distract himself from what he just saw. Jiraiya makes a satisfied rumble, wrapping his arms around Yosuke. _It feels nice to just...breathe._

**“We learned something today.”**

Yosuke tilts his head, looking up at Jiraiya again when he opens his eyes. "What..what did we learn?"

**“Denying yourself is dangerous.”**

* * *

Yosuke blinks, shaking his head to get rid of the memory with a sigh. He shudders as he enters the tv again, feeling weird chills. _Is it just him or is the fog a little thicker?_ “Jiraiya?” He looks around, trying to find the shadow. “Jir-”

**“I’m over here.”**

The Shadow is crouched by a tv set, the news playing softly. Even from here, Yosuke can see how ragged Jiraiya is, bandages on his arms, his hands, his neck…. _The hell happened?_

Yosuke goes over to his taller self, sitting down on the ground and looking at Jiraiya. "Something..weird happened yesterday." Yosuke brings his knees to his chest. "People were talking about finding a body..something about a telephone pole I believe..?" 

The teen just makes a soft laughing sound to almost distract himself. "A-a body..they must be going crazy..r-right? Someone must have thrown their clothes up there, o..or maybe even they might have seen a dead bird-"

Jiraiya’s yellow eyes pierce Yosuke to his core. **“Yosuke, that was a dead body, Miss** ** _Yamano’s_** **body to be precise.”** He gestures to the screen, where the news continues talking about the strange murder as well as the girl who found the body. 

Yosuke turns to the screen slowly and carefully, his body almost turning pale at the sight of the news. "N..no..w-wait-" Yosuke gets closer to the tv, as if he's trying to see better. "T-that- that _can't_ be Miss Yamano..h-her shadow destroyed her! S..she was-" 

Yosuke keeps looking at the screen, his whole body shaking as he stares at the screen, specifically, the girl on the news.

_...Saki-Senpai?_

**“Her body went somewhere after her Shadow was done with her.”** Jiraiya turns back to the screen, where the bandages around his neck are even more obvious. Yosuke carefully touches his own throat, feeling where ghostly bruises freckle his skin. **“Everyone thinks she was murdered, strung up like that. Who can blame them?”** He takes a deep breath, fingers reaching out and touching Saki’s face on screen. **“Our next target** **_needs_ ** **to be Lil- I mean Saki.”**

_"Saki?!"_

He looks over at Jiraiya, a panicked expression on his face. "W-why- w-why her?! C-can't we try and save s-someone else?!" Yosuke's voice is shakey, a pained tone in his voice. "W-why do we _need_ to t-target her?!" Jiraiya growls, turning on Yosuke and baring his sharp teeth. The bandages flutter around him, making him all the more threatening. 

**“We’re doing it because I said so! She needs to face herself** **_now_ ** **!”** His eyes aren’t flaring with anger, instead they’re filled with a deep seated fear, something that shakes him to his core. _He’s doing this out of fear...why is he so scared?_

Yosuke keeps staring at Jiraiya, out of fear? Out of curiosity? He doesn't know at this point. He continues more, before closing his eyes. "Will.." Yosuke shakes. "W-will this _help_ Saki-senpai..?" Jiraiya’s growls calm, though he still bares his fangs. 

**_“It has to.”_**

* * *

**“Lilith….”**

Jiraiya shifts beneath Yosuke, looking from Saki to the Shadow Lilith. In this form his mouth is spread in a huge, toothy grin, but it doesn’t reflect how he feels inside. Saki and Lilith just stare at each other, no one making a move until Yosuke speaks up. 

“You have to accept her, Saki-senpai.”

Jiraiya can see Saki shift in place, a confused look on her face. "Accept her..?" She tilts her head. "What do you.. _mean_ by tha-"

**"We hate you."**

Both Shadow and human stiffen, a jolt running through Jiraiya’s body. He narrows his eyes at Lilith... _surely this is just the fog?_ But he knows better. No, he’s known Lilith has hated him, but hearing it come out of her mouth like that…

“Wh-what? No, no we...I don’t!” Saki stammers, trying to deny what Lilith says. 

**“We think Hana-chan is a pain in the ass.”**

Saki’s eyes go wide as Yosuke leans forward, prompting the top half of Jiraiya to lean forward as well. Yosuke looks away for a second, seemingly to gather his thoughts, before looking at the female shadow straight in the eyes.

"How do you really feel a-about me? Tell..tell me the truth." Yosuke's voice seems stern, but you can clearly hear the shakiness in his voice as he grips his arms slightly. Lilith grins widely, yellow eyes flashing with delight. 

**“I hate you,** **_we_ ** **hate you!”** She ignores the growing desperation on Yosuke’s face, as well as the panicked denials of Saki. **“We want you to just die already Hana-chan! We used you like the cheap toy you are, and Junes was going to be ours!”** Jiraiya flinches at her harsh words, and yet...he still needs to help, he has to. **“But you thought we liked you, boo hoo how sad for you. Newsflash, idiot! Everyone hates you, especially us!”** Lilith looks back at Saki, her smile growing. 

**“Isn’t that right, other me?”**

"N..no!" Saki shakes her head, backing away from her shadow. "No no no no no! That's- that's not true at all!-"

**“You should have just done it, Hana-chan!~”**

There’s a growl from atop Jiraiya. “I should have done w-what? Confessed?” His voice is trembling, and Jiraiya knows why. He wishes anything could have been what Lilith meant...but he knows the truth. Lilith's smile somehow gets even more twisted.

**"You remember when you told us you wanted to die because of the town?"**

Jiraiya can almost feel Yosuke stop moving.

**"Told us how badly you wanted to kill yourself because of how the town treated you? How you came crying to us like** **_"oh boo hoo, poor me, I can't handle some words that the town gives me, I want to kill myself soOoOoOo badly."_ ** **?"**

The shadow laughs. **"How we somehow convinced you that we care and we would be sad if you were gone? That was all** **_bullshit!!_ ** **"** She almost has a purr in her tone.

"S..shut up!" Yosuke shakes his head, covering his ears with his hands. "S-shut up shut up shut _UP-"_

**_"_ ** **You should have done it! You should have gone through with your plan and finally killed yourself! We would be** **_sooooooo_ ** **happy if you where finally fucking** **_DEAD!!!~"_ **

Jiraiya lets out a hiss of anger and annoyance, directing his attention to Saki. **“Is this the truth?”** He can only pray that the girl says yes, but he knows the gods are never on his side. 

“O-of course not, that isn’t me, I would never tell someone to _do_ that, she’s lying, I would never-”

“You’re lying.” 

A shiver runs down Jiraiya’s body at Yosuke’s tone. It’s calm, unwavering, smooth. _Dangerous._

"You're fucking _lying._ " Yosuke hisses out. "Shadows don't lie. Shadow's _never_ lie!" Yosuke hands switch over to his arms, starting to scratch at them as an instinct. "Y-you could have just-" Yosuke's voice starts to waver. "You could have just told me a-and I would have taken it better if you just straight up t-told me to kill myself!!" 

Yosuke seems to whimper. _"Maybe I would have done it and made you not have to suffer with me.."_ Jiraiya nudges Yosuke, trying to get him to snap out of it. 

“But she’s a liar! I never once thought those things!” Saki screams in desperation, trying to get Yosuke to stop. But Lilith just keeps cackling, screaming over Saki’s attempts to deny the truth. Jiraiya squeezes Yosuke’s arm, a signal for him to go ahead. 

Yosuke looks at Jiraiya, before shaking his head. _One more time.._

"S..Saki." Yosuke whimpers. "Please- you need to..y-you need to accept h-her!" Yosuke scratches his arms rougher and harder. "P-please just accept her! I-I don't want her to do anything to _you too!!"_

**“Just die already Hanamura!”**

“No! I refuse to accept that that is me!” 

_"S-STOP FUCKING LYING ALREADY!!!!"_

Yosuke nails dig into his skin and he scratches himself hard, the now open cuts dripping down to the floor as he sobs. _"Just please stop lying already!! Stop it stop it stop it S-STOP IT ALREADY!!"_

This time Jiraiya can’t tear his eyes away, lips curling up over his teeth as he watches. Lilith explodes into a mass of woman and snake, maws grabbing Saki’s limbs to keep her from escaping. Her fangs rip through the skin, cackles searing the air as she pulls Saki closer and closer. The girl screams, trying to claw away, but Lilith is too strong. More snakes appear, latching on to Saki’s body and ripping her to shreds. There’s no blood, nothing of the sort when someone’s been dead, hanging on an antenna for hours. Just as soon as Lilith finishes strangling Saki to death, both the girl and the Shadow are gone. 

It's deathly quiet for a moment. Jiraiya or Yosuke don’t say anything, nor do they talk.

The first thing both of them hear after a minute of silence is Yosuke’s screaming sob, bringing his knees to his chest as he starts bawling his eyes out on his knees.

"S-she didn't- s-she didn't care about- s-she- f-fuck fuck fuck f _UCK FUCK-"_

Jiraiya shifts from his Magatsu form into just Shadow, catching Yosuke in his arms and encasing them in a bubble. **“Yosuke, Yosuke shhhh, shhh shh. It’s ok, I’m right here, Jiraiya is here. Look, I’m just as upset, b-but, we need to breathe ok?”** The Shadow gently pets Yosuke’s hair, trying to get him to calm down. **“I’m sorry about that, I thought…** **_fuck_ ** **I thought that would work.”**

Yosuke continues to scratch his already bleeding arms, closing his eyes as another sob escapes his mouth. "I..I didn't- I-I didn't want her t-to-" Yosuke pauses, before he lets out a laugh of pure distress. "S..she never..she never cared about me..s..she wanted me dead, I..I should h-have just..I..I should have.." Yosuke nails seems to dig deeper into him as he tries to spit out what he's trying to say.

Jiraiya grabs Yosuke’s hands, pulling them away from his arms. **“No one’s going to know. Just...calm down. We’re both tired...a-and we should sleep on this, ok?”** The Shadow carefully heals Yosuke’s wounds, and when he’s done, he simply holds the boy in his chest. **“Rest for now Yosuke...please?”**

Yosuke closes his eyes, a soft whimper coming out of his chest as he buries his face on his shadow’s chest. Jiraiya hums softly, holding Yosuke slightly tighter in a protective stance.

**“It’ll be better in the morning...after all, it’s a brand new day.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....this chapter is....a little darker than the first one...  
> I mean enough so that we had to update the tags so....  
> Now that you see what you're getting into stick around  
> We've got more on the way :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saki and Yamano are dead and hung, and the Yosuke-Jiraiya duo have failed twice. 
> 
> Still, that's no reason to give up, as it seems the new transfer student can enter tvs like Yosuke can. 
> 
> Not only that, but when he, Yosuke, and Satonaka accidentally fall in, a Shadow doesn't appear for Narukami at all. It's like he already accepts his problems....

Yosuke can’t breathe. 

He can’t tear his eyes away from the mangled body dangling from the antenna, no matter how much he wants to. Saki’s body is carefully pulled down, police and paramedics trying to close off the area. 

_ This is his fault. He did this. _

Yosuke's hands go and grasp on his arms, feeling a tear fall down his face. Her face..looked like she was in pain before her death.  _ She was in pain, she was in  _ **_so_ ** _ much pain- _ He can't seem to tear his eyes away from her body as she's covered in a tarp.

_ He caused her to get killed. He killed her he killed her  _ **_he's a murderer he-_ ** __

“Hanamura?” 

Yosuke jumps at the hand on his shoulder, turning to see the transfer student.  _ Narukami. _ Those silvery eyes are filled with intense concern, so much so that Yosuke isn’t sure whether to bask in the unfamiliar feeling or cry. “I know she was close to you…”

“I-I’m fine.” The sharp voice crack would be Yosuke’s downfall. “I mean...sh-she was special but I’m...going to be ok.” 

_ I have to be ok- _

Narukami tilts his head, but doesn’t press any further. “Well...I wanted to talk to you about something that happened last night.” His face is unreadable, much to Yosuke’s frustration.  _ How am I supposed to know what he’s thinking? _

"Something that..happened last night?" Yosuke glances around, before looking back at Narukami's face. _Nope, still unreadable. Fucking_ _hell._ "What..happened last night?" 

“I should really just show you.” Narukami grabs Yosuke’s wrist, pulling him in the direction of Junes. “There’s big tvs at Junes, right?”

"U-uh-" Yosuke tries his best to hold in a yelp of pain as he grabs his wrist.  _ He forgot to bandage up his wrist- _ "Yea I'm- I'm pretty sure we have big tvs in Junes..w-why are you asking?"

Narukami just keeps pulling Yosuke along, his voice flat. “Curious.” That answers none of Yosuke’s questions, and on the way, he starts stressing.  _ Oh god, what if Narukami saw me, what if he caught me, what if he knows I’m the murderer- _

Yosuke let's out a shaky sigh, hoping Narukami takes it as just him being dragged. When he gets to Junes, Satonaka is also there, and he blinks in confusion. "...what  _ exactly  _ do you want to show me? And.." he points at the girl. "Why is  _ she _ here?" 

Narukami shrugs. “I told her too. I mean she talked to me after school yesterday.” He looks around them, as if waiting for everyone to leave the electronics section. Once he seems satisfied, he reaches out and touches the screen of a tv. 

The screen rippled under his touch…. _ before giving way and allowing him to stick his hand in. _

Yosuke’s eyes widen. He can hear a shriek of panic from behind, but he can only really focus on what's happening in front of him.

_ How the hell did the new kid do that?? That doesn't- w-what?? _

“I discovered that I can do this last night…” Narukami pulls his hand free, looking at the terrified faces of Satonaka and Yosuke. “I reached for that girl on screen...a strange voice…” He shakes his head. “It was weird.” He reaches back again, this time up to his shoulder. “I think there might be something on the other side-” 

Yosuke feels his heart drop into his gut, panic shooting through his every nerve. He glances around nervously.  _ There's no one here..he can just run to the bathroom and try and calm down there- _

Yosuke starts to back up, and suddenly he makes a dash for it. Before he gets too far, he can feel Satonaka scream "Oh no you don't!!" before she grabs his arm.  _ Right where the deepest part of the cut is- _

He lets out a painful yelp, stumbling back and knocking into Satonaka, who knocks over Narukami, and next thing he knows he's falling through the tv. While the others scream, Yosuke furiously tries to predict where they’ll land and prays to anyone that will listen that Jiraiya isn’t here waiting this time. 

As soon as Yosuke’s feet touch the ground, he trips and falls flat on his face, another yelp escaping his lips.  _ Ow ow owww.. _

Yosuke tries to lift his head up, looking around.  _ Yup, same tv place, same everything- _

He hears Narukami mutter a small thing in confusion. Wait. More panic races through him. Can Satonaka and Narukami see through the fog? Or are they like he was? He chews the inside of his cheek nervously. 

“Where the hell are we...I can’t see a damn thing…” Satonaka stands up, gazing around wildly. “Is this some kinda weird studio? This fog is so thick…” Yosuke looks around as well, trying to make sure that Jiraiya isn’t anywhere to be seen. 

Narukami sniffs, trying to look into the fog more. “I thought I saw something move out there.” He shrugs after a moment. “Probably just my imagination.” 

Yosuke looks over to where Narukami is pointing at, seeing two bright yellow eyes stare at him. Jiraiya quickly puts his finger to his lips, pointing at the others and nodding.  _ Act like you haven't been here. Stay calm but worried sounding. _

Yosuke grips his arm softly. "H..how the hell do we get  _ out _ ..?" He ends up asking, making his voice shake to sound more concerned. Satonaka pales as she squeaks in surprise.

“How the hell should I know? All we can really do is try to find an exit!” Yosuke flinches at her panicked tone, though through the noise he could hear a strange squeaking. He waves at Satonaka, trying to tell her to be quiet. 

_ Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. _

Yosuke feels a chill go down his spine.  _ What the hell is that? _ He squints, even though he can easily see through the fog, but for some reason he can’t make out the shadowy thing walking towards them. “W-we should really find that exit!”

He sees Narukami back away, and before he can say anything, him and Satonaka are running away. His eyes widen, and goes to chase after them, screaming "Hey wait for me!!" He manages to grab on to Narukami’s hand, not even paying attention to where they’re going.  _ Where are we, Jiraiya never took me here- _

The three students finally stop in a strange red room, ripped posters all over the walls. Yosuke takes a breather, panting heavily before he starts looking around. “Where….where is this?” The room is trashed almost beyond recognition, but there’s something familiar about the tattered sheets, broken closet door, and shattered guitar. 

His heart crawls into his throat, ignoring what Narukami and Satonaka are saying as he approaches the bedside table. His fingers tremble as he opens the drawer, pulling out the clean piece of paper within. 

He unfolds it, knowing why the room was so familiar now. 

_ The suicide note is in his handwriting. _

Yosuke grips onto the note tightly, staring at it, and then to the noose that hangs in the middle of the room, then at the note again.

_ Did..Jiraiya know that this place existed? What..why is the note here, why..why is just his  _ **_room_ ** _ here- _

He starts to hear footsteps come near him, and he quickly shoves the note back where it was, closing the drawer and sighing. "There seems to be nothing here.." Yosuke mutters, turning back to look at the other two in the room. Narukami seems to have this expression of doubt on his face (at least..Yosuke  _ thinks _ he does? Narukami's faces are hard to tell..) before shaking his head. 

Narukami opens his mouth, but right before he does the door swings open to reveal that strange shadowy thing that Yosuke had seen earlier. Except...it’s not super shadowy, it’s a strange red and blue bear. Yosuke blinks in confusion. He can  _ tell _ it's a shadow, it gives off the aura of shadows but..it just doesn't look like a shadow.

After staring at each other for what seems like ages, the bear growls, pointing at the students. “What are you  _ doing _ here? You guys have come in here riling up the Shadows, and now I’ve caught ya  _ bear _ -handed!!” The bear’s voice is high pitched, startling Yosuke and causing him to leap backwards. 

“Wh-what the hell are you? What do you mean riling up Shadows?” Yosuke squeaks, trying to hide the lie in his voice. He knows who’s riling up the Shadows, he’s seen how his presence affects them.  _ But they can’t know that. _

There’s movement behind the bear, distracting Yosuke as he leans around to look. “Wha! Th-they’re here!” The bear screams, turning around and running off as several blob monsters take form.  _ Shadows. _ He’s used to seeing these creatures, but Jiraiya taught him how to fight them if they’re aggressive. 

A second later it hits him that in order to fight the Shadows, Yosuke needs Jiraiya. His heart drops.  _ Shit. _

“Run!” Yosuke runs out of the room, Narukami and Satonaka behind him. He isn’t even sure if they’re going back the way they came, all he can think of is to just _run._ _If we can make it to the exit tvs Jiraiya has we can leave, but…_ He’d have to lead them back towards that studio area. And right now, he has no idea where they are. 

Yosuke stops all the sudden when shadows suddenly appear in front of him, as he lets out a small yelp and falls to the floor. One of the Shadows attacks Satonaka, causing her to crumble to the ground.  _ This...this is all my fault! _ If only he wasn’t a coward and was able to summon Jiraiya to them, he could save them...but…

Narukami tries to move as well, but seems frozen in place. Yosuke can finally see the fear in his eyes, his calm facade cracking under the stress. “C-come on, move!” At once, his eyes dilate, body stiffening as he grabs his forehead. 

Yosuke watches the transfer student turn over a blank card in his hand, his mouth curving into a smile as he holds it up. Blue lights flare around him as the card catches fire, a word forming in his lips. 

_ “Per...son….a.” _

Yosuke stares at the transfer student with wide eyes as a tall, ironclad being forms behind him. Narukami’s silvery eyes take on a new intensity that chills Yosuke to the core. The Shadows charge, but there’s a bright flash of metal and two of the three explode into dust.  _ Th-that’s some serious power! _

Narukami lets out a pant, slowly unbuttoning his uniform right as the last Shadow slams into his Persona. He gives a choked cry, before the Persona flings the Shadow free. His eyes light up blue as his voice deepens.

“Izanagi!”

A brilliant bolt of lightning slams into the Shadow, killing it in an instant. He pants as he finishes unbuttoning his uniform, the Persona vanishing. 

Yosuke blinks, eyes darting from where the shadows used to be, and back to Narukami. "W..what was.."

_ He didn't have to accept himself..how the hell did he get a persona without accepting himself?! _

Narukami stands still for a second more, panting softly until he catches his breath. “Persona…that’s what it was called.” He straightens his shoulders, his stony demeanor returning and his face becoming unreadable again. He walks over to Satonaka, shaking her shoulder to try and get her up. Yosuke scrambles up too, diving for Satonaka. 

“Come on, get up!” Yosuke chews on his lip, worry sparking through him.  _ What if the Shadow killed her? _

There’s a groan as Satonaka sits up, holding her head. “What...happened?” She looks around, noticing how the Shadows are gone. “W-wait, where did those monsters go?”

Yosuke takes a glance around, looking at Narukami, before looking back at Satonaka. "Narukami..Narukami took care of them." He gets this small smile on his face. "It was..awesome, to be honest-"  _ He can’t even lie about that. What Narukami did made….something stir inside him. _

“It...was nothing, just….Persona.” Narukami whispers quietly, looking at his hand as if he can’t believe what he just did. “W-we should get out of here.” There’s a slight waver in his voice now, a small crack in the walls he put up around himself. 

Yosuke helps Satonaka up, taking a look around, before nodding softly. "I..y-yes. We should try and get o-out of here.." Yosuke laughs softly. "I..I need to work soon anyways, so-" He shakes his head. "C-come on."

____

“You want to get out of here?”

The strange bear, which the students had learned is named Teddie, blinks up at them with big eyes. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?” He stomps his foot, summoning a tall stack of tvs. Yosuke tries to hide his surprise. 

_ I thought Jiraiya was the only one who could do that! _

Yosuke watches as Narukami and Satonaka jump back as he continues to stare at the bear in shock. "W..what the hell..?" He hears Satonaka ask in a confused tone.  _ Who the hell is this bear? _

“What are you waiting for?” Teddie pushes on the student’s backs, throwing all three of them back the way they came. They tumble out into the electronic section of Junes, Yosuke cursing that bear for such a rough landing. 

Narukami is the first up, and any vulnerability he showed in the tv world was gone. “We’re back.” 

Yosuke sits on his knees, groaning as he runs his head in pain. He blinks, looking around the familiar store. "Yea I..guess we are-"

He hears the tone of the announcements, recognizing the tone almost instantly.  _ It's almost closing time-  _

“You guys should head home, I need to help close up.” Yosuke looks up at Narukami, who simply nods at him before walking off. Satonaka stays a little longer, trying to figure out what had happened and even going so far as to tapping her fingers on the screen. But before long, she left as well, leaving Yosuke alone in Junes. 

Yosuke stares at the direction the two other students went off to, before looking back at the tv.

_...he has some questions for Jiraiya. _

Hoping back into the tv after he makes sure no one is there, he doesn't see Teddie anymore. Instead, he sees Jiraiya, talking to..

_..Narukami? _

"J..Jiraiya..what is-" 

The Shadow whirls around and pounces on Yosuke, tackling him to the ground.  **“Yosuke!”** Before Yosuke can respond, Jiraiya continues, saying something that leaves a knot of anxiety in his throat. 

  
**“You’re going to have to fake your awakening.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took longer than the others! We were kinda busy playing Among Us jshkfsh  
> And....uh....sorry for the heavy angst in this one.  
> We are well aware of what we've done uwu  
> Anyway, we hope you enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya left Yosuke with a chilling message:  
> "You're going to have to fake your awakening."  
> But what could the yellow eyed Shadow have planned?  
> Can Yosuke really fake his awakening enough to convince Narukami and Teddie that he hasn't already met his Shadow before?

**_“You’re going to have to fake your awakening.”_ **

Jiraiya paces in the liquor store, biting at his fingers in anxiety. Sure, he was the one who told Yosuke that, but did he have an actual plan for it? 

No, no of course he didn't. 

This stress invades Jiraiya’s mind, so much so that he doesn’t hear the door of the store slide open and then shut as Izanagi strides in, stands by him, and then rumbles in his low voice. 

**“Jiraiya?”**

The Shadow squeals and flips his knives between his fingers, taking a defensive stance. Once he realizes it’s Izanagi, Jiraiya sighs. **“You scared the hell out of me, don’t sneak up like that!”**

Izanagi tilts his head. **“But I didn’t. I wasn’t even trying to be quiet.”**

Jiraiya pauses, turning to look at Izanagi with one of his brows raised up. **“Oh, says Mr. “I never speak unless I need to”.”** Jiraiya sighs again, leaning on the shelves with a small huff. **“I just don’t know what the hell to do right now…”**

Izanagi adjusts his coat, somehow looking even more prim and proper than before. **“You seemed pretty lost in thought, considering I was able to sneak up on a** **_ninja,_ ** **so what’s bothering you?”**

**“Remember me telling Yosuke about him having to fake his awakening?”** Jiraiya fidgets with his scarf a bit. **“I forgot to, ya know,** **_think_ ** **of how the hell to help him** **_fake_ ** **his own awakening.”** He rubs his head a bit in frustration, sliding against the shelves until he is in a sitting position. **“I’m just frustrated..”**

Izanagi sits beside Jiraiya, carefully folding his legs. **“Can you change your shape?** **_You_ ** **could pretend to verbally attack Yosuke and he could deny you.”** The Shadow runs his fingers through his hair, the silvery locks falling through his fingers. **“Admittedly I would be forced to attack you, but…”**

Jiraiya hums. **“I..can change to what he looks like..basically what I first looked like when he first accepted me but..”** Jiraiya makes a face. **“That would take up a lot of energy..plus, I would have to change into my Magatsu form, then** **_back_ ** **into my normal form before I then have to switch to my armored form..”** Jiraiya starts to mumble. **“But..I don’t know...it would use so much energy, Yosuke would have to go back pretty soon after because he’ll be worn out.”**

**“Well, I don’t think that’s too huge of a problem.”** Izanagi leans his head back, looking at Jiraiya with glittering golden eyes. The frog feels his heart flutter, though he isn’t sure what causes it. **“Yosuke will have to do the most acting, but I believe in him.”**

**“..Yea..”** Jiraiya laughs softly. **“Yea I..I believe in him too..”** The Shadow still paces, fingers clawing at his arms in anxiety. With a roll of his eyes and a huff, Izanagi drapes himself over Jiraiya, forcing the frog to stop. **“...What are you doing?”**

Izanagi simply pulls Jiraiya into his coat, wrapping the smaller Shadow up in the fabric. **“Stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy.”**

Jiraiya makes what sounds like a squeak of confusion, looking up at the taller shadow with slightly pink cheeks. **“W-what, me pacing around makes** **_you_ ** **dizzy?”** He stays still for a second, before slightly nuzzling himself more in Izanagi’s coat, burying his face in the coat. Izanagi chuckles, resting his chin on top of Jiraiya’s head. 

**“It’ll work out. I’ll make sure of it.”**

* * *

Yosuke waits in front of the tv in Junes, tapping his foot as anxiety fills him.

**_“Remember, lead Narukami to the liquor store, that’s where I’ll be waiting. I know you hate lying Yosuke, but you’re going to have to deny me.”_ **

The teen turns up the volume in his headphones, trying to drown out the anxiety with music. “It’s going to be ok..” Yosuke mutters to himself, biting the inside of his lip. “It’ll be..quick. Jiraiya said that he won’t hurt Narukami badly, it’s..going to be alright-”  
  
“Hanamura?”

Yosuke picks his head up, taking his headphones off as he sees Narukami walking over to him. “O-oh, uh, h-hey Narukami..” The silver haired transfer student is as stoney as always, but Yosuke can see the stress in his eyes. 

“You told me to meet you here. Is it about Konishi-senpai?”

Yosuke simply nods softly, holding his headphones close. “Yea..” Yosuke sighs. “Just..something doesn’t sit right with me..she was on that “Midnight Channel” program, and the next thing we know..she’s dead.” 

_She’s dead because of you it’s your fault she died it’s all_ **_your fault-_ **

“I just..I want to figure out what's going on. And..I think that other world has something to do with her death.”

Narukami nods, adjusting his coat. “Are you prepared for whatever else is in there? I mean, I’m the only one able to fight those weird monsters.” He sounds genuinely concerned, even if his face doesn’t show it. 

Yosuke simply nods, before his eyes widen softly.

**_“You should give him a weapon. You can’t just rely on Persona’s, you need weapons to make sure you don’t run out of stamina.”_ **

“Before we go in..” Yosuke looks around, before reaching behind the tv, pulling out a golf club and offering it to Narukami. “I..know it’s not much, but it’s one of the only things that I had on hand that can..protect you.” Narukami lifts his eyebrows but takes it. 

He hefts the weight a moment, rolling it between his fingers. “I mean, it’ll at least hurt.” He nods to Yosuke, pressing his palm to the screen and watching it ripple. “Shall we?”

Yosuke smiles softly, nodding and bringing his hand up to the tv. “Yea. Let’s go.”

* * *

Yosuke squints through the glasses that Teddie gave him. _Do..they even make a difference? Everything looks the same still._ He shakes his head, staring at the liquor store in almost fear. 

“Are..you sure this is where you saw Saki-senpai last?” Yosuke asks in a low voice, looking over at the bear. 

_Of course this is where he sensed her last, this is where you_ **_killed_ ** _her-_

“I’m _beary_ sure of it!” Yosuke feels himself groan at the pun, sighing weakly as he hears Narukami hold in a scoff. “Well..” Yosuke straightens his back. “Let’s go in.”

The tension is thick enough to make it hard to breathe, voices floating around them and mingling together. Fear sparks in Yosuke, but he reminds himself that it’ll be ok. _Jiraiya is watching. He won’t let me get hurt._

Out of all the voices, one stands out among the rest. It’s one that makes Yosuke’s heart freeze over, because he believed he would never hear it again. 

_“I can’t stand it here. I hate my family and Junes.”_

Yosuke feels himself pause, staring at the wall as her voice rings through his head. _T..that’s-_

_“Why would I like a place that makes my family hate me even more?! That place ruined us, that place ruined_ **_me!”_ **

Narukami looks around, as if trying to find the source of the voices. “Hanamura, is...is that-”

“Saki…” 

Yosuke can feel Jiraiya’s panic mingle with his own, neither of them had expected this. The voice grows in power, as if it's stabbing down into Yosuke. 

_“That Hana-chan though..”_

Yosuke closes his eyes, trying to brace himself for what comes next. He _knows_ what’s coming, but-

_“He’s a real pain in the ass.”_

He feels himself get crushed again, his hands almost going to his arms, but he restrains himself, but just barely. _Not now..notnowwhynownonononono-_

“P..pain..pain in the ass..?”

A deep laugh sounds from a shadowy part of the store, pulling everyone’s attention there. **“Haha, that’s how she really feels about you huh? You thought maybe, just maybe, if you came in here and saved her she would fall in love with you. You’d be a hero!”** Slowly, a figure appears, same height, same hair, same….face… _Jiraiya._ The Shadow smiles, yellow eyes gleaming. If Yosuke didn’t know better, he’d only see the malice there. 

“Wh-what…?”

Teddie makes a sound of panic. “B-b-be beary careful! That other Yosuke seems b-beary strong!”

**“But that isn’t the truth. You’re the one who finds everyone and everything to be a pain in the ass.”** There’s pain in Jiraiya’s voice, but he has to keep going. If he stops, Yosuke will be in danger. **“You’re bored here, you want thrills, so you came here. You’re annoying and a nuisance, and you know that everyone, even** **_yourself_ ** **, wants you dead!”**

Narukami looks over at Yosuke in surprise, as Yosuke tries his best not to claw at his arms. He _knows_ that Jiraiya has to say this, so that this plan will work..

_But he’s not wrong..that last part is nothing but the truth yet..it hurts, it hurts so goddamn_ **_much-_ **

“T..that’s..” Yosuke looks at Jiraiya, hoping and praying Jiraiya doesn’t see the tears in his eyes. “That’s not true a-at all, I-I..”

The Shadow laughs again. **“Why deny it? I know everything about you, because I am you. I know how pathetic you are, how badly you want everyone to** **_worship_ ** **you and be your friend. But you’re such a fake.”** Jiraiya cackles, eyes unblinking as he stares down, denying Yosuke. **“You took advantage of her death and you’re using it to gain fame! What a lowlife!”**

“I..I would never!” Yosuke shuts his eyes close again. _At least this part he can deny-_

“I-I would never use her d-death for that!! Y..you’re..” Yosuke hands creep up to his arms on a whim, starting to scratch himself in slight panic. “Y-You’re not me..Y-you're not me you’re not me you’re not _ME!!!”_

Jiraiya shrieks with laughter, his face distorting as he changes to his Magatsu form. In this light, the red marks look almost green, and the Shadow wills himself to look less threatening. **“Haha! You’re right, I’m my own self. I’m not you at all!”**

“Izanagi!” Narukami’s voice takes on a deeper tone as he summons his Persona, the warrior slamming into Jiraiya and making him fly back. Yosuke falls to his knees, feeling the kick in his own side. It wasn’t hard, but _damn_ Izanagi’s strong. Narukami’s by his side in an instant, just checking on him, before running at Jiraiya. 

Jiraiya and Izanagi fling magic at each other, and while Yosuke knows that Jiraiya could blow them all away, he uses Garu, keeping Izanagi’s lightning at bay while making it seem like they’re taking the fight seriously. Even so, the electricity is weakening Jiraiya, making Yosuke want to pass out on the floor from the effort. 

_Clang!_

Pain stabs through Yosuke’s head as Narukami brings the golf club down on Jiraiya’s head. The Shadow stumbles, crumpling to the floor underneath the now bent club. Yosuke blinks through the pain, deciding that this was the right time to interfere. 

“St-stop!” He walks up to Jiraiya, who looks at him with a tearful look. “I...ok, I admit. Y-yeah...I do find this place to be boring...I find myself annoying and I’m desperate for people to like me because I’m terrified to be alone. I knew that already, after all...I’m you...you’re me.” 

Jiraiya gives out a relieved smile, closing his eyes softly and transforming into his armored form. Yosuke locks eyes with his Shadow, who looks at him with kindness and concern. With a flash, he vanishes, a blue card taking his place. Yosuke feels the Persona return to him, knowing that Jiraiya must have run off to hide elsewhere. 

“Ghhh….” Yosuke staggers, his head exploding with pain. “N-Narukami, did you really have to hit my shadow _that_ h-hard?” He massages the sore lump on his head, slowly moving back out of the liquor store. 

Narukami is near him in an instant, hosting Yosuke’s arm over his shoulder in an instant. “H-hey, y-you ok?” Yosuke blinks in surprise, staring at the taller teen in shock for a second, before letting out a soft laugh. 

“Besides feeling the pain of a golf club hitting my head extremely hard..yea, I’d say I’m ok..” Yosuke leans on Narukami, shuffling along as they leave the tv world together. As they depart, he casts a glance over his shoulder, watching as Jiraiya smiles before being led back into the liquor store by Izanagi. 

_Mission success._

* * *

**“Oww oww _owwwww_!”**

Jiraiya flinches away from Izanagi’s hands, pain lashing across his head. **“You didn’t tell me he hit that hard!”**

Izanagi huffs and pulls Jiraiya back to him. **“Stop that and let me help.”** He presses a wet rag he found to the Shadow’s forehead, watching him wince. The smaller shadow tries his best to stay still, but no matter what he does, the pain overwhelms him, making him flinch and yelp. 

**“A-a knife stab would have been better than..than whatever type of strength your other self did with that golf club !”** Izanagi snorts and rolls his eyes, enveloping Jiraiya in his coat again. The Shadow stops whining, slowly sinking into Izanagi’s chest with a huff.

**“I didn’t think he would hit that hard, ok? Now hold still and let me fix this.”** Izanagi carefully treats the wound, kissing it when he’s done. **“There. Now sleep, shifting forms like that took a lot of your energy.”**

Jiraiya opens his mouth to protest, but the warm Shadow makes him realize how tired he really is. He whines softly and buries his head in the coat, drifting off rather quickly. 

He could almost forget that his world is in ruins.

* * *

_Bzzrt._

Yosuke shoots up out of bed despite the pain in his head, alerted by the noise of his tv. His mouth falls open, eyes tracing the slim figure of Amagi on his screen. “Th-that’s Amagi...why is my tv….” The answer hits him at once. 

_“The Midnight Channel.”_

The screen shuts off after a moment, leaving Yosuke to scramble for it. “Wait! Tell me what it means! Amagi! Come back-”

A sound like a bell rings in Yosuke’s head, a flash of yellow lighting up his room before going completely black. Jiraiya’s voice echoes around him, whispering an apology. 

**“I’m sorry for this Yosuke, but it’s time we clear Amagi of the fog.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are  
> So so sorry this chapter took so long to come out  
> Things got hectic for us, so our writing slowed way down.  
> BUT  
> Hopefully it should pick back up!  
> Thank you guys for your support!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading our fic! Any kudos or comments would be greatly appreciated!! <3


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